I honestly want to blog more, but current format doesn't fit into current brain processes, so I figure it is time for a change. Words are the beginning of action... in theory! Feel free to hold me to this on Facebook. I need interweb mothers telling me to "Do my Homework".
As a leap into this fancy new methodology I'm going to do something I'd never normally do in public. I'm going to let my brain ramble and show ya what I'm working with. *Spoiler alert* This will preview a future (hopefully) post. I KNOW, SO exciting ( to my tiny subscriber list) but I can fool myself!
I've been thinking of this post for weeks now. Why I should've been born in the Victorian Era. Sounds odd, I know, but trust that there is a rhyme and reason. As I'm plotting away, my mind wanders, and this is how it goes. You may want to look away now, as this might be a bit "Being John Malkovich" and you can't get these moments back. Also, if you know me and like me, you may realize that there is an iceberg of crazy under this hair... you typically only see 10%.
I should TOTALLY be Victorian. I was practically built to use a corset, and thus, a fainting couch. The mere idea of a fainting couch is cute and all that, but to get the vapors from the tiniest bit of manual labor and then require the use of said fainting couch (In The Parlor... CUTE) appeals to me on a deeply intense level. Society wants me to look skinny, but gave me the bustle so I can put the 'ass' in massive, so I can't possibly clean the house today or I'll pass out from lack of oxygen to the brain, so..... *I need coffee*. Thank you LORD for giving me the foresight to get that french press!!! Now I don't have to drink 8 cups of coffee in an hour to prevent waste and that burning roast smell! I can progressively drink 12 cups of coffee in 3 sharp bursts thanks to this lovely fellow! I LOVE YOU FRENCH PRESS!!
The batteries on Huddo's Laugh and Learn chair are dying. It is a slow and creepy death. I've never heard "This Little LIght of Mine" sound so melancholy. When finished with the crayon's rendition of "La La La La" (If you have this hellish child's toy, you totally understand) in a LOW SLOW voice... it is straight out of the Tim Burton's worst nightmare. I love watching Hudson dance. Neither of my children is equipped with any rhythm... but he wiggles his hips in the most endearing way... I hope he never dances in a club. Though, to be fair, if I keep to my plan of forever helicopter parenting my boys, he'll never leave the house to go to a club. He'll stay home and we'll keep our couch dates, and watch HGTV, DIY, and FLN, my three favorite letter channels, and eat gourmet popcorn and give facials. Who needs daughters?
I need to go to Walgreens today. That requires a shower. And Makeup. I have a new outfit but I need to hem the jeans. What am I going to put the boys in? It looks like rain, but not cold rain. What the hell is "cold rain"? Why did I just think of that?
If I were Victorian I, or one or both of my children, would probably be dead. Probably from Cholera. Do people still get Cholera? Did I hear that someone had Cholera, or was that a dream? My dreams are so vivid, it is hard to tell. Remember that dream where Jared and I went down the hill in the rolling bar chairs from my old house, and the bathroom door was halfway up the stairs, but at regular 2nd-floor height so you had to climb in. Weird, yes, but in my dream all of this was perfectly normal. Wonder what that all means... probably a tumor.
Yes buddy, I'll get you water, but I'd be happier about it if you'd ask instead of the current, rapid-fire squeals of "WATER!". "WATER MOMMY". Is the stuff in the dishwasher clean? Meh, I'll run it again for good measure. I need to make the bed.
Scooby Doo needs to get lost. Not the character, but the DVD's. I'm about over listening to the portable DVD player in the background. I don't want him watching tv this much, but he screams when I turn it off. It isn't the screaming I mind... it's the whole now-I-have-to-entertain-you thing. It's like a freaking security blanket. He doesn't even watch it, he just checks in to sing the song at the beginning and the end.
What band IS THAT? It sounds like one of those popular bands that I hate and don't get why anyone likes. I know it isn't Nickelback... I hate them enough to recognize them, but it is something like that. Did the Hubby ever download that Ting Tings album? I asked him to do that months ago! I also asked him to fix Huddy's crib. He never listens....
I'm hungry. Well, I'm not hungry but I want something salt..... I get it Hudson! You're angry! I'd still realize you were upset even if you didn't crawl ALL of the way over here, pull your chubby self up using your talon-like nails on my feet, and wail in my face. You're tonsils look clear. I want soup. That's it. That's what I'm craving, soup. And strawberries. We need groceries. I don't want to get groceries. I love Target, but I'm not looking to spend $300 today, so I can't go there to get groceries. I wish we had a Whole Foods store. I wish I cooked more. I wish I had a self-cleaning kitchen and self-eating kids. Wait, would that mean my kids would eat themselves? Hmmmm. I'm going to invent something. I'm going to invent something to make my life easier and richer. What that is, I don't know. Hud is crawling into a tiny space and growling. I think he is more like a mean cat than a baby. He prefers to eat off of the floor, he growls and hisses, he's moody, and .... wait, what was I saying???
*End Scene* There's a glimpse. A few moments of uninterrupted crazy to justify the lack in cohesive blogs. I'm not going to make myself create "perfect" (heh heh) thought out blogs any longer. I'll come, pop in for a sanity break, and post a tidbit of whatever I feel like. I'll try and share more pics, make it more personal (um, yes, it can get more personal!), and more versatile. Maybe I'll even go in a direction?! DIY, tips, ideas. Yeah, that's it. We'll see what this mess will morph into. Thanks for bearing with me and letting me be flawed and scatter-brained! I'll try and do what I say... what was I saying?......SΩß≈zaHBN
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